Unplugged

~The past few weeks I have felt totally unplugged from any type of normalcy! ~

• Two weeks ago the kids and I were on Doggy-Duty while my family were all on vacation. We are excited to be going with my In-Laws to Kansas City for a few days the last weekend in August. This WAS going to work with my work schedules...

• As you may know I WAS working two part time jobs, and I can very very happily say WAS! On Monday I heard from the coop and they had a full-time position in Structured Learning (Autism) Middle School and I could have it if I wanted, and I definitely wanted (not to mention it was $6.00 more than I was making at Good Will and $4.00 more than I was in my previous placement through the coop)!

• I feel that my heart will always be in Life Skills, I have really began to have a passion for children who are on the Autism Spectrum. I long to understand their minds, and their way of thinking. There is so much going on, and they just need a way to communicate that to our world. One of my new favorite books is Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin. I was able to watch the Temple Grandin movie this past weekend and LOVED IT!! I recommend it to anyone who knows (and those who don't) someone on the spectrum.

• As of yesterday I was thinking that I could still make our trip work. Being that I would work Monday - Friday 7:30-2:50 (love love those hours) at Eisenhower Middle School in Goddard. Being that I have two personal days. I do feel badly about asking for them off so early in the school year, however when we booked our trip I was still going part time and this wouldn't have required I miss work. Then I received a phone call...
  
• Today while working on homework I received a phone call from Kay Bartel (one of the assistant directors for the Coop) asking me if I would like to help them out. She was requesting that I continue the process of getting my Emergency Substitute Teaching License and be the long term sub for a structured learning teacher in Maize. She then went on to tell me some of the good things she has been told about me!! If I ever doubted for a second that special education was where I should be after today I don't =) She told me that they would save my job as a para, although I would have to resign as a para and apply as a sub teacher.

• I am now just waiting.. waiting to see if my license comes in time.. waiting to see when Tasha has her baby (if we are able to go out of town with Brett's family)

As many of you know about me I am not a patient person, and the hardest discipline in my walk with the Lord is to let Him lead me and not try to do it myself. But if I have learned anything it is that I can fully rely of Him and I don't need to worry myself sick (which I have been) over things I have no control over. Just after realizing I would have to continue with two jobs (I thought) working evening and weekends while doing three full days for the coop I went to the Lord totally broken one evening, and I realized just how silly I have been, and was given a peace and closeness I had been missing. Just prior to this I had given someone the reference of Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean no on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take."

I am guilty.. I am a people pleaser! This has just about ran me into the ground over the last two weeks. Trying to make everyone happy, the employers I quite, the new ones I 'm starting, the possible sub job, not disappointing my family over our trip, and on and on and on.. The reality I came to while on my knees in my room the other night was: none of this maters in the big picture of things. Two years from now it won't matter that we did or didn't go to Kansas City for three days. It won't matter that my Supervisor at Good Will was disappointed in me for quiting to return full time at the coop. It was all of these things that was making me a bitter wife, mother and Christian. Since letting all of these things go (which has to happen on a daily basis) my home has once again became a happier place. When I find myself becoming working up over these things I try to retreat to my room, or at least a quiet spot for prayer, and God has never failed me! I am thankful for the busy time in my life, and hope that I am able to one day use it for His glory to guide someone to Him.