Ever have one of those days (or weeks, or months) where you are just overwhelmed? Life has turned upside down and you don’t think you can handle it all? Struggling to stay afloat yourself, you don’t feel like serving others. You struggle to see God’s goodness in the "hiccups" of your day. Life is too much and you would just like to sit down and rest for a moment?!
To one degree, that’s where I’ve been tempted the past few weeks. We have been a one-income family since May, and it is beginning to get rather difficult. Our income changed, the bills did not. I have so much ridding on the completion and passing of my KPTP, as so I can begin teaching in January (and since I am being honest, scares me to death). I feel so guilt, I prayed so earnestly for another baby, however I was not mentally prepared to watch my body expand again! ;( And people can just be cruel! I try to plan every part of my day, however no matter how well I plan, hiccups seem to often take over. I’ve cried a lot. I’ve struggled with the fact that God knows I just want to start this season of my life well, and yet I find myself struggling with bitterness, anger and exhaustion. I want to hide from the world.
I’ve spent a lot of time asking God what my response should be. I’m called to love my enemies. What about folks who cause extra work in my already busy schedule? Do I have to love them too? yes. What about the times when I’m just tired and want to sleep? Do I have to care and serve then? yes. What about when my plans are continually interrupted? Can I trust God’s control over my life then? yes.
With so many things in this world vying for my attention and focus, how is it possible to find rest in God? How is it possible to be still when the world seems to be racing all around me?
The author of Proverbs explains it this way: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
To trust in the Lord with all my heart and to lean on Him means first abandoning all hope of trusting in other sources. It means looking to God alone as the source of all rest and strength. I once read it described as leaning against a wall or podium, if we can still stand if that wall or podium is taken away, then we really aren’t leaning against it.
God wants our dependence on Him to be such that we cry in full dependence, "God, if you are not there to catch me, then I will surely fall flat on my face." I find that often in my life, I try to avoid this feeling. I hate feeling dependent on something other than myself. But God in His kindness always shows me the futility of depending on my own strength and graciously offers His provision and strength instead.
Resting in God is not a passive activity, rather something that I must continually work towards. My human nature does not naturally bend toward resting in God, but I have the promise that as I grow in this discipline, He will guide my paths. And when I see God’s faithfulness displayed as I learn to trust in Him, my soul begins to rest.
My soul can be still in the midst of chaos, storms and confusion because I know the Lord is on my side. I know that through every change He remains faithful. I know that as He has faithfully lead in the past, He will continue to guide my future.
For God alone, my soul waits in silence. From Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress. I shall not be greatly shaken. Psalm 62:1-2
And when I trust and follow where He wants me, not what I would prefer to do.. MY CUP RUNNETH OVER!
Curt and Cadie playing with our youth at GAMP Wednesday night.
We celebrate the birth of our Savior, and Santa is an added bonus. We have always wrapped presents and put them under our Christmas tree prior to Christmas morning. We tell the kids that Santa comes and fills their stocking and leaves them a present out by the tree. This is something we normally leave unwrapped with a bow on it. (I don’t give Santa all that much credit around here) However, I must say that to watch them get excited is fun. We have never written letters to Santa before, but a lady at work gave me a set that had everything to write two letters to Santa... so after baths this evening we wrote a letter to Santa. 
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