Heavy Hearted

Being faced with the possibility of a hysterectomy Brett and I had to sit down and decide what direction we wanted our (future) family to go?! After a lot of prayer and conversation we decided to trust God with our fertility and put off any discussions of a hysterectomy for a year or two. Almost four weeks ago (through a home pregnancy test) we found out we were soon going to be the parents of three *beautiful* children. However last Thursday after blood work we found out that this pregnancy was not viable and there would be no baby. I thought a miscarriage wouldn't hurt as badly being that I have two beautiful children, but I was wrong... the pain is the same, the emptiness is the same and overall I am heavy hearted. The difference this time is I am not angry. God is still so good, and I am learning what a super strong person I am. Having little ones running about has helped a ton, but it is when the house is quiet that the tears sneak back in.... Everything happens in God's timing, I know this experience has made me a stronger person. One day I will be able to use it for His Glory!